"Women? Oh they are so complicated!"
"Comprehending rocket science is easier than understanding women."
"Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars."
These are probably very common jokes among men. This shared feeling of abstruseness has remained constant throughout the centuries. Men have always wondered about what women want and how their brains work.
While the male and female bodies have similar internal functions, there is an increscent orgasm gap between the two genders. Learn more about orgasm gaps here!
Is the ever-widening gap a product of female complexity? Are women less likely to experience orgasms because their bodies and brains are "too complicated"? Or is it because female orgasms don't get the attention they deserve?
The overall message is that women are so different from men, so complicated to understand, that you should give up trying to figure them out. It's no surprise that straight women have the least satisfying sex of any gender. It's not that our bodies are too complicated to enjoy orgasms; otherwise, women who have sex with women would also have poor results. Lesbians claim to orgasm 86% of the time, while straight women come only 33% of the time; it's that we're missing out because of our straight male partners' laziness.
"Mystery" has been considered the perfect excuse for insensitivity and ignorance against female sexuality. Well, it is time we de-stigmatize all the myths and lores related to female orgasms.
What Is An Orgasm?
As improbable as it may seem, there isn't an official definition of orgasm that everyone can agree on. Why? Because every orgasm is different!
An orgasm can be explained as a feeling of intense pleasure that happens during any sexual activity. Also known as "climaxing," orgasm is a combination of psychological and physiological responses a person experiences during sexual stimulation.
Like 70% of heterosexual women who don't masturbate, it is likely that you, too, have never experienced this divine feeling. You must be wondering what an orgasm feels like. Well, your breathing accelerates, your heart starts to pace, and the amount of oxytocin, as well as your blood pressure, increases. Your genital muscles contract, and endorphins are released into your bloodstream, creating a feeling of relaxation.
The feeling brought on by an orgasm differs for everyone. An orgasm can make you feel as if your entire body is liquid or an electric shock is coursing through it, while others feel a deep sense of peace and release.
Why Is Female Orgasm A Mystery?
Why do women orgasm? This burning question doesn't come in with an easy answer. For men, the theory behind orgasms is relatively straightforward. Orgasms are associated with ejaculation, and the main aim is to release sperm for conception.
For women, on the other hand, orgasms stand to be a mystery. Women do not require an orgasm to conceive because their ovaries produce eggs regardless. So, what's the point if female orgasm isn't for reproduction? Let us look at some absurd theories brought forward by various scientists.
Female orgasm, according to some scientists, serves no purpose. It was "added" to boys and girls who inherited the same "anatomical bonus." The problem with this theory is that when a trait is no longer useful to us, it gradually dies down. This is not true of female orgasms.
According to evolutionary theory, female orgasm was necessary for reproduction at a previous stage of our evolution. It would exist because male and female genital organs develop almost identically during embryonic development before differentiating around six weeks after conception.
The "upsuck" theory is the final theory. While it hasn't been proven, it's intriguing to speculate that when a woman arrives, the vaginal and uterine contractions create a "vacuum effect" within the vaginal canal, aiding in the pumping of sperm and improving chances of pregnancy.
If we went beyond these theories and finally accepted that orgasms exist for pleasure. And pleasure isn't a mystery now.
Debunking Myths That Make Orgasms A Mystery
We welcomed the twenty-first century into our lives two decades ago. On the other hand, myths, taboos, and old beliefs are extremely persistent! Here are a few historical examples that we plan on demystifying.
Myth #1: Everyone should be able to orgasm solely through penetration.
Let's put an end to this twaddle once and for all. Orgasm from vaginal penetration without direct clitoral stimulation is thought to elude approximately 75% of female-bodied people, and it has nothing to do with the quality of the sex. It's all about the distance between the vaginal opening and the clitoris. The closer your clit is to your vagina, the more likely it is that penetrating sex will make you come. There's nothing wrong with you or your partner if you need to rub your clit or use a vibrator to get off during partnered sex. It's only anatomy.
Masturbation does not affect your ability to come during partnered sex. The opposite is true: touching and exploring your body is the best way to figure out what kind of stimulation makes you feel good. When you share your self-awareness with your partner, they, too, can induce orgasm. The more orgasms you have, the better you'll understand how to get there, the more you'll want them, and the better you'll understand yourself.
If you constantly masturbate with the same toy, try changing it to diversify your orgasms and stay in touch with a broader range of your turn-ons
Myth #3: It's worth pretending to have orgasms to make your partner happy.
Please, please do not impersonate orgasms. Anyone who has feigned it must accept some responsibility for the phenomenon of straight cis men believing that a few thrusts in missionary will make women see God.
So let's stop pretending to have orgasms. When you fake it, you neglect your sexual satisfaction while also misleading your partner about their role in that satisfaction.
Myth #4: Everyone experiences orgasms.
You are no less a beautiful goddess capable of a hot, healthy, full sex life if you can't or don't orgasm. Anorgasmia, or the inability to come, affects 10 to 15% of female-bodied people. Anorgasmia can be caused by medication, such as antidepressants, a history of trauma, or, more frustratingly, for unknown reasons.
It's a bummer, but having it doesn't mean you won't have an orgasm or can't enjoy sex at some point. We all have our quirks, preferences, and abilities in the bedroom, and that's perfectly fine. You're doing it right as long as your sex is consensual and safe.
Myth #5: Orgasms are purely physical events.
Orgasms are as much mental as they are physical for many women. In other words, your partner can try to stimulate you until the cows come home, but an orgasm will be elusive if your mind is elsewhere. Orgasms have a significant mental component. If you're under a lot of stress or if you're distracted, anxious, or scared, it will undoubtedly affect your sexual response. You're not going to enjoy yourself.
The Last Word
The female orgasm was never a mystery but was denied and undervalued. We must distinguish between complexity and "unknowability."
We can understand why female sexuality was once misunderstood. But why does an important female sexual organ like the clitoris remain underrepresented today?
Ladies, Isn't it time to shake off these noxious old beliefs and reclaim control of our bodies?
Understanding the function of each part of your body can help you achieve sexual freedom. And it is for this reason that we should all stop saying that female orgasm is a mystery.
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