During intercourse, it is comparatively easier for a man to orgasm, especially if he is sexually interested in his partner. This interest gets them excited both mentally and physically, leading to an early climax. On the other hand, women are less likely to orgasm before and simultaneously with their male partners. This is probably what creates the Orgasm Gap.
So what is the orgasm gap? What created this rift between male and female pleasure? Finally, how can we, as women, eliminate this gap and make sex less of a burden and more pleasurable?
What Is An Orgasm Gap?
Every person, man or woman, deserves a sensual and satisfying sex life. Now while it is essential to be with someone who understands your desires and needs, there are still some critical differences in every bedroom life, i.e., the orgasm gap.
Also known as orgasm inequality, orgasm gap was coined to describe the sexual disparity between couples. Studies show that heterosexual women come under the population having the least orgasms during sex, which could be blamed on the lack of understanding regarding female anatomy.
Moreover, an orgasm gap does not just stand in heterosexual relationships. In addtion to that, there is an orgasm gap between women who masturbate and those who are involved with partners. A study showed that 39% percent of females said they orgasmed while masturbating compared to 6% during sex.
Despite the de-stigmatization of female orgasms, the orgasm gap is still widening and remains stark.
Who Is Responsible For The Orgasm Gap? Men Or Women?
While the anatomical differences between men and women may be the most significant contributor to the orgasm gap, several other factors have widened this void. Let us take a look at a few of them.
Prolonged Lasting Intercourses Are A Hoax
According to a study by Durex, 30% of men believe that the best way to make a woman orgasm is via penetrative acts, while more than 50% of women say that clitorial stimulation helps them orgasm.
Even if we accept the beliefs of men, it typically takes a woman 20 minutes of sexual activities to reach her peak, while penetration lasts 3-5 minutes. Therefore direct sex won't lead to a woman's orgasm.
We can't typically blame men for not being able to last as long as women do since the penis is not designed to be constantly erect, as shown in adult media. So the blame here probably goes to the exaggerated depiction of long-lasting intercourse in pornography.
Bedroom Disparity Exists!
While feminists fight for equality for men and women in society, the stories of equality in the bedroom are pretty contrasting. Depictions of media images of sex, especially in pornographic movies, focus on the pleasure of men and how women have to please their male counterparts and can get an orgasm from penetration alone.
This act of over-privileging male sexuality and devaluing female sexuality has probably led to many misconceptions among young adults regarding sex. People need to know that penetration alone is not enough for female orgasms. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation. However, this is rarely depicted in the media.
Moreover, we need to learn that women are not made for male pleasure. The objectification of women in various forms of media has misled a large section of our society and shifted all the attention to male pleasure instead of co-pleasure.
Female Arousal Is Often Not Considered A Prerequisite
Just like a penis, the clitoris also becomes erect during arousal. Sex without arousal can be excruciating for a woman. If not aroused, the vagina does not lubricate, and the cervix may not pull back out of the course of the penis. This uncomfortable situation may hamper the mental and physical comfort required to get into the zone for orgasming.
Every female's body differs when it comes to arousal. Foreplay activities like kissing, caressing, and oral sex will likely arouse women and build up to an ah-mazing orgasm.
Closing the Orgasm Gap
Now that we have analysed the problem, you must wonder how we can close the orgasm gap. What role do women play in closing the orgasm gap? It is no doubt that the ultimate goal of sex is a pleasure. While most men hit that peak, women keep craving for more despite the sex being considered "over" once men are "done."
Now that the world has slowly started to give importance to female orgasms, how can it be done correctly? How will you ensure a negligible orgasm gap in the bedroom? Read on to get the ultimate steps to discarding the orgasm gap!
Stop Faking An Orgasm!
Most women pretend to have an orgasm (don't deny it, you've done it too.) You must be curious as to why women fake orgasms. Often, people have their partner's feelings in mind while faking an orgasm. They might want to avoid making their partner feel insecure about their sexual performance.
While this may save your partner from embarrassment, it is one of the most significant barriers to female orgasms. Orgasm reassures a partner that anything you do together can get you off. As a result, they'll frequently try to replicate those actions to achieve the same result. If you faked it, you gave them incorrect information, and they believe things get you off, that may or may not get you off.
Get On Top
When it comes to penetrative sex positions, being on top will help you get an orgasm. Being on top allows for easy access to clitoral stimulation, which most women require to orgasm. It also gives the woman the freedom to have more control of the movements to find a comfortable rhythm.
Delve Into Different Positions
As mentioned above, positions play a significant role in getting a woman off. Though it can be satisfying, getting on top isn't everything. Doggy style can be an excellent clitoral stimulation position. Women have "incredibly diverse bodies, and even more varied sexualities, and anything that can directly stimulate the clitoris works. An orgasm can occur with any sexual activity, and each woman will eventually discover what works best for their own body. Specific positions, angles, or other details will work best for them. But because they are so diverse, we must all experiment to discover what they are.
Sex + Toys = The Perfect Orgasm!
If someone enjoys sex toys on their own, why wouldn't they bring them into sex with them at least occasionally? The notion that toys are only for people is absurd. If you use a vibrator alone, you should think about using it while having sex with your partner.
Incorporate our Cherry Popper or Dual Vibrator into your regular sex routine and watch (or feel) the sparks fly!
Lastly, Tell Your Partner What Feels Right
You should voice it when things feel good and show them what you like when you can if you are comfortable doing so. Be bold and ask a partner to keep doing what they're doing when you're into it or to adjust when something needs to be fixed. Be explicit, clear, and upfront!
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